Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
