Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
