I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
