if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
