doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
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