Already got asked if we're dating
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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