I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Randomize
