I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
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