It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I just want nice things and good sex
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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