I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Randomize
