Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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