I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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