Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
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