I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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