Dude, I woke up at my ex's house. I am spooning her half naked roommate. There is a pizza on my shoulder. I need you to come pick me up.
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
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