She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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