I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
