If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
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