I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
