elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Someone signed my nipple.
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