'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
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