i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Randomize
