it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
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