I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
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