Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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