He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
