He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
The adults are the big ones right?
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
