I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
