Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Randomize
