What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
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