you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
