i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Redeem this text for a blowjob
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
They have beer where we have blood.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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