Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize
