Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
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