ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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