I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
