ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
