i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I showed him my bush... on skype.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I have already put on my inside pants.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
