In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
