so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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