I'm drive I can fine osifer
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
