Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
