My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
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