The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
