garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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