Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize