I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize