So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
