God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
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