i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I think i peed on brittanys purse
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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