Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Randomize
