I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
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