You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Randomize
