I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
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