Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
