Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Randomize
