final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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