Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
