What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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