i always forget guys have bellybuttons
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
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