Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
